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Sunday, August 31, 2008 | 8:18 PM

Students hate tests. That's a fact. Periodical Test days are one of their most horrific and frightening days. It is on these days where they feel nervousness and agony. Like me, I share their agony. Since I was in first year, it has become a "routine" for me to have fever before and during the examination - believe it or not. It was only in this grading period where I didn't experience fever on examination dates. I think having a fever on exams is my "lucky charm" because I get high scores. I didn't take reviewing seriously because I thought the ieas might overflow in my brain and I will forget all of them, in short, "mental block".

When we had the tests in English, Science, Filipino and Values, I realised that the exams were not that easy and not that hard. After taking the exam, I have set myself to review seriously on the night of August 19. When I watched the news on the night of August 19, the weather forecast said that it's signal no. 2 in Ilocos Sur so I therefore concluded that there would be no classes. The 2nd day for the Periodical test was moved to August 23. When we had the test on A.P., math, MAPEH and TLE, the same with the other tests, it was not that easy and not that hard. After the test, we felt great relief. Now, we'll only be waiting for the judgment day.

The judgment day came. I was really really disaapointed. I felt guilt because I'm such a failure. I got low scores and I was left behind by my other classmates. What a shame!?! I was surprised by the test results because it seems alittle bit easy for me. I don't know. I don't know what happened. I am such a failure. I'm such an idiot. I hate myself.

Now, I have learned from my "recklessness". I have already learned from my mistakes and I will not let these happen again. There are still three more grading periods and I have to give them my best shot. I will now take them seriously.

Thursday, August 28, 2008 | 3:15 AM

PLEASE HEAR WHAT I'M NOT SAYING

Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
Masks that I’m afraid to take off though
None of them is me.

Pretending is an art that is good and second nature with me.
But don’t be fooled,for God’s sake, don’t be fooled.

I gave you the impression that I’m secure,
That all is sunny and unruffled with me,
That confidence is my name and coolness my game,
That water’s calm and I’m in command,
And that I NEED NO ONE.
Please don't believe me. Please

My face may seem smooth but my surface is a mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear,
in aloneness.

But I hide this; I don’t want anybody to know
I panic at the thought of being exposed
That is why I frantically create a mask behind
A nonchalant, sophisticated façade, to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only salvation.
And I know it.
It is followed by acceptance, it is followed by love.
It is the only thing that can liberate me from myself.
From my own self-built prison wall,
From the barriers that I painstakingly erect.

It’s the only thing that can assure me of what
I can’t assure of myself, that I’m really worth something
But I don’t tell you this, I don’t dare.
I’M AFRAID TO.
I’m afraid that your glance will not be followed
By acceptance and love.
I’m afraid that you will think less of me, that you’ll laugh,
And your laugh will kill me.

I’m afraid that deep down, I am nothing,
that I’m just no good,
And you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
With façade of assurance without a trembling child within
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you, in the suave tone of surface talk
I tell you everything that’s really nothing,
And nothing of what’s everything,
Of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine
Do not be fooled by what I am saying.

PLEASE LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY AND TRY TO HEAR WHAT I’M NOT SAYING What I’d like to be say,

What for survival I need to say,
But what I cannot say…

I DISLIKE HIDING.
Honestly.
I dislike the superficial game that I’m playing,
The superficial phoney game…
I’d like to be really genuine and spontaneous and ME.
But you have to help me.
Please. Please.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008 | 2:54 AM

LeSsOnS I hAvE LEarNed..............

I Am iMpErfEct!!! WhAt a ShAMe!?!

In life, I have been to ups and downs. I have faced so many embarrassments...... But these problems and embarrassments gave me something which cannot be written down and turned up for a grade - KNOWLEDGE...I have learned how to be more mature and to how to weigh my decisions. I have learned to act my age and I have discovered things concerning teenage life. these lessons I am speaking of involves FRIENDSHIP, TRUST, LOVE, HARD WORK and

FEAR OF GOD.......
I have learned how to face my problems with chin up and solve them squarely................ ◙I can DO IT!!!!! I will hit the MARK!!!◙
PRObLeMs thAt I HaVe EnCounTerED..............

tImE Is gOld!!!!!

Time mnanagement has always been a major headache for me. It's uneasy for me to cope up with simultaneous activities that's why I am subjected to maladjustments. Whenever I do something, there's always something that have to be SACRIFICED.........
Math!!!MAtH!!!mAtH!!!
I never loved math since time immemorial. I am more on the languages and arts... I am hard up on analyzing.....

tHiNk!!!tHiNk!!!ThInK!!!

I must balance things equally to avoud maladjustments and to meet my errands worry-free. I am now starting to have a planner and I will write all the activities I need to do then rank them according to time and importance.
I am now starting to love math............ Now, I, little by little,

falls in love with computations, analyzations and problems solving.........

dO NoT StOp!!! cOnTiNuE!!!
I will continue to learn something everyday, for learning is an on-going process, not just like a product with an end date. I will use these things to motivate and to improve myself..

Thursday, August 7, 2008 | 8:51 PM

InFoRMatIoN AnD CoMmUnIcAtIoN tEcHnOloGy........wHaT DiD I leArN?

iN IcT IV, I HavE LeArNeD HoW To cREaTe bLog AcCoUNt AnD To hoW to PuT DEsIgNS, PoStInG meSsagEs oN iT AnD oTHeRs.......AcTuAlLy, I aM nOT NeW To BLoGgINg BuT I hAvE JuSt fOrGOt ThInGs aBoUT IT BeCaUsE thE lAt TImE thAT I hAd mY BLog WAS whEn I wASJUSt A GrAdE 6 STudeNt....

the PrObLeMs aNd cHaLLEnGeS..........

We aLwAyS eXpEriEnCe inTerNet tRaFfIc. SometimeS We arE HaRd Up On FollOwinG the InStRucTIOnS aND SOmEtImEs tHe IntErNET cOnNEcTioN iS AlWaYs diScONnEctEd.

AdDrEsSInG tHESe ChAllENgEs........

WE AlWaYs CaLL THe ATtEnTIOn Of OuR tEaCher rEgarDiNg THEsE pRObLeMs Or If noT, We'll JuSt WaIt PaTiEnTLy For THe pAgE tO upLoAd...

MovING On, I wiLL........

I WiLl MaKe mY BloG MOre BeAuTIful anD I Will CoNtInUe To LeARn nEw THinGs AbOuT BLogGInG.... i Am AlsO looKInG fOrWarD tO MaKinG WEb PaGE wHIch I thInK Will Be TacKLed ON thE NeXt GrAdINg PeRioDs..........